Day of rest...

we took a sabbatical today...we drove to Antigua which is an incredibly beautiful city that used to be the capital of Guatemala.... the cobble stone pavement was beautiful as was the the view of this city nestled in the middle of mountains and volcanos. great to get out ot the city and into the country..our team really needed the time. i think however, i saw a much different picture. again i was struck by the beauty on the outside, but the depravity on the inside...children everywhere begging. the looks on some of their faces was too much at times. being a mom i guess it touched me different the rest of the team, but all these chidren seemed to be exploited, just in a different way. a little girl with no arms dressed in a pink dress hobbled over to us to beg, the desperation in her eyes was soul wrentching. another little boy so dirty, begging for us to buy his stuff.....i know that this is the point, to make our hearts go out so we are propelled to give, and i know that we are supposed to politey say no thanks and walk away like i see tons of people able to do....but really??? i don't want to be able to not be torn for this. this is the loss of a childhood, a loss of the ability to be taken care of and laugh and giggle and run and play. dang it just shook me. then the pinnacle heart shatterer happened, a woman about 18 or 19 came up with her baby. she began saying something in spanish and pointing to her child. she lifted his little onesie and he had the medical condition that sometimes babies are born with where his belly had an open hemmorage and his organ was outside of his body. the mom had no money to get the bag and medicine to clean it and allow for safe draining. i was stunned...i stood there and a range of emotions shook through my core like a tornado. this would never happen in the U.S. this baby so in need of surgery...so dirty and vulnerable to infection....a momma desperate to get her baby help. she explained that she had no husband and her mom had just died..we asked her if we could purchase the stuff there that she needed and she had us follow her to the pharmacy...the bag and meds cost us under 20 U.S. dollars....we purchased her some formula and gave her more money to get clothes for the baby, and then we walked away....i was shaken again my core rocked..we walk away??? how?? i know that i can't save everyone in the world, but i also can't just brush off and keep trucking like this woman and baby never happened..someone on the team asked if i felt better because we helped her and i thought....really? no i wanted to shout i don't "feel" better! this baby is hurting and we took care of a minimal need....that is a big stretch to going about my way and feeling like i did something extra special...this is our mandate to help the widow to take care of the poor to protect the oppressed...i don't see this as optional....i pray i can find this baby medical care while i am here. i want try and help him....i am glad i feel this..i get to feel a small part of my very big God, we are the hands and feet of Jesus...i think He would feel the weight of these people..and i know He has never walked away...

In Him,
Kris